I'm on Spring Break this week & it's going by waaaaaaaaaaaaaay 2 fast. It's great not to have to leave the house. I don't like going outside. Even to get the mail. I always think people are looking at me. I really wish I could just make myself invisible. I desperately wanna get out of this apartment 2 cuz I hate my landlord & this neighborhood but it's really super incredibly hard 4 me to call places. I know it doesn't really make sense-what in my head does?-but calling places is even harder for me than facing people. I really don't know why. I'm so afraid of sounding stupid, of freezing & not knowing what to say, of stumbling over my words. Which I do. I dunno why it's worse on the phone. That's why I love the technologies of today, especially e-mail when it comes to having to contact people I don't know but sometimes u have to call & I pretty much just don't. It takes me weeks, sometimes months to make doctor appointments, unless I feel like I'm dying, I've been wanting to get outta this hell hole for 5 or 6 months but I've called maybe 3 places. Sure, I look at the paper every week & circle places but I just can't get myself to call them.
Well, it's almost time for Grey's and I have a horrible headache that I've had all day-what else is new-so I'll end this now. Hopefully I'll think of more to say soon.
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