My Mother's Sister

I wrote this on my MySpace blog & I might be getting rid of my MySpace so I wanted to make sure I still had this. I wrote it on November 15, 2007 & I was explaining why I strongly dislike my mother's sister, whom I do not call my aunt any more:

I just really need 2 get some things off my chest. I’m not even gonna make a big boob joke there. My fucking aunt is a FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!! Shall I state the reasons?

1~When me & my brothers were kids, she would never baby-sit us cuz she doesn’t like kids. OK so maybe she woulda been a bad baby-sitter, who knows, we never will, but we were her fucking nephews & neice.

2~She has always CLEARLY favored my brothers over me. My older brother is her godson, yes, but that is no excuse. She says it’s because I was an ungrateful gift receiver. Oh excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, I’m sorry that a little kid didn’t know how 2 properly say thank u 4 a shitty ass present that SUCKED cuz u never got 2 know me well enough 2 know what I liked!!!!

3~She ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS jumps 2 these STUPID ASS conclusions. Example: last year or earlier this year, I don’t remember exactly when it was, I was at my parents’ house & so was the bitch & I was in the living room watching Groundhog Day, texting my friend Jen (about how much I can’t stand my aunt, in fact) & she comes in & asks what I’m watching, so I look up from my phone & say (apparently quietly), "Groundhog Day." Weeeeeeeeell the BITCH didn’t hear me or even apparently see my lips move (I guess she’s not only deaf, but also blind, must be all the pot she still smokes) so she automatically ASSUMES I’m ignoring her instead of maybe, oh I dunno, thinking she just didn’t hear me or something & proceeds 2 act like an immature child & sits down, grabs the paper, & sez "I can ignore people 2." in a snotty little voice. My mom didn’t even believe me at 1st when I told her she said that. And 2 make this 1 even worse, my mother either doesn’t believe that I really answered the fucking bitch or she just can’t remember that I keep telling her I did. Believe me, I would have no problem admitting it if I was ignoring her. None, whatsoever. I completely ignored her over there on the 4th of July & actually the rest of the day that day. So if I was, which, I really had no specific reason 2 at that time, I would have said I was. And I certainly wouldn’t have looked up, I just would’ve acted like she wasn’t there. That’s how I roll. And I guarantee if the same thing happened with 1 of my brothers, there’s no way she would’ve jumped 2 the same conclusion.

4~She’s 1 of those people that thinks she knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. She went 2 Trocaire 4 nursing like ummm a million years ago, never even had a nursing job I don’t think, but she still thinks she knows everything about the medical profession. And she thinks EVERYONE & their mother should go in2 nursing & of course go 2 Trocaire. My friend Jen (my brother’s girlfriend, actually), goes 2 D’Youville 4 nursing & every fucking time my aunt sees her she just HAS 2 tell her how she should transfer 2 Trocaire cuz it’s soooooooo much better. Hmmmm seems 2 me she never went 2 D’Youville so how the fuck would she know??? And it’s not just nursing, of course. It’s pretty much every subject in the world. And she’s never wrong of course. GOD FORBID!!!

5~Now, this next 1 may not seem like a big deal 2 some people but it was really the whole meaning behind it that made it a big deal. She didn’t send me a birthday card this year. She has never, ever forgotten. But this year, she tells my mom she "forgot." BULL MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I know, KNOW 4 a FACT that was a lie. I KNOW. Now, I know, some of u are saying, she’s getting older, maybe she really did 4get. But trust me, I know her & I KNOW she did it on purpose. Which leads me to 6.

6~She’s a liar. Enough said.

7~This one kinda goes along with 2. Her husband, my Uncle Tim, has a nephew named Greg. My brothers have both met him numerous times. I never have. Also, my aunt apparently has a cabin somewhere around here, I’m not sure exactly where. Why am I not sure where, u ask? Cuz I’ve never been there, yet both my brothers have, once again numerous times. I’ve never even been asked.

8~She can never, ever, ever admit that she’s wrong. See 2--notice that I am the wrong 1, not her.

So now comes the dillema of Thanksgiving this year. 1st my mom said she would tell the bitch she couldn’t come cuz I’m more important, but now, I think cuz of my dad, she’s saying I should just get over it, basically. Well, ya know what? I’ve tried 2 get along with her. Many times. It never works. So fuck it. I don’t need her in my life & Thanksgiving really isn’t that important 2 me so if she’s gonna be there, I won’t be. And on Christmas, I’ll just get a little drunk & tell her off. Hmmm my parents would get really pissed.... OK so maybe I won’t do that. It’s really hard 4 me 2 be fake (which I still maintain is a good thing), that’s why I can’t just go & suck it up. So I dunno exactly what I’ll do. But I know I will not just sit there & pretend I can actually stand her.